OH MY GOD

First of all, I'm back! I am bronzed and beautiful and relaxed and happy.

Second of all, OH MY GOD:

Heidi Montag (who, for whatever reason, still thinks that she is a singer), has just released a single called "Fashion." A prime selection of lyrical genius: "I need some new stilettos/Can't walk down the street in those/You are what you wear, it's true/A girl's just as hot as the shoes she choose."

I think I'm going to throw up. I think I need to quit the fashion industry just because of any possible association it might have with this song.

Listen to it here, if you're a sadist.